I'm Gonna Make You Love Me. . . . Yes I Will, Yes I Will

Now the title of that old song by the Temptations came to my mind while I was doing my bible study today. I know, go figure!  I was reading in the book of Genesis the 29th chapter of the account of Rachel and Leah. Now why would that song come to mind? Well, let me explain. The story begins around the 14th verse. It tells of Jacob who went to work for Laban and the wages that he desired to work for were for the hand of Labans daughter Rachel in marriage. Laban agreed to let Jacob have Rachel's hand after he had worked for Him for seven years. Yes gentlemen, this was a woman worth waiting for as far as Jacob was concerned. But after the seven years had passed Laban deceived Jacob and on Jacobs wedding night he unknowingly had Rachel's sister Leah in his tent instead of Rachel because Laban said that their tradition was to have the oldest daughter married first. Jacob was of course furious because Rachel, the beautiful one, was the one that he desired and had worked for seven years to have. After Jacob protested Laban agreed to give him Rachel as well but only if Jacob would agree to work for Laban for another seven years. So Jacob took Rachel also as his wife and worked for Laban. At this point you may be thinking, "how sad for Leah", she knew her husband loved Rachel and she just wanted him to love her. Here's where I have to ask the question, " have you ever felt unloved by someone you wanted to love you?" For some it may be the very person you are married to or in a relationship with. For some it may be or have been a parent who didn't show love for whatever reason. I can't imagine the depth of what you are going through or have been through but I do know that God sees. I believe he saw Leah. Not as a replacement for love but as a blessing God gave Leah children. But instead of seeing the gift of children as a blessing, Leah viewed her children as a way to capture the heart of her husband. You see this was Leah's thinking, she desperately wanted to be chosen and loved and hoped that by having these children it would win the heart of her husband. Aren't we sometimes like Leah here? We, in an effort to be loved think that by being better, looking better, achieving more, doing more that it might attract attention. But here, for Leah, no amount of children or attention was going to change the fact that Jacob didn't really love her, he loved Rachel. Now it may seem like the moral to this story would be "those who are beautiful and desired by men are happy and those who are homely and unloved are miserable"! But let's take a look at the other woman, Rachel. Rachel was miserable too! Rachel had everything that her sister Leah wanted and was convinced would make her happy. She had Jacob who loved her exclusively, she was physically stunning but she could have  no children. If only, she thought, she could have a child then she would be truly complete and happy. So here's where we see that Rachel became jealous of her sister Leah because she had children and Leah was jealous of Rachel because Jacob didn't love her he loved Rachel. How sad! There had to be a better way! Well as the story progresses, Rachel cried out to God for a child and He heard her. She had a son. So here's the happily ever after part, right? Wrong! Rachel had the exclusive love of her husband and she was stunningly beautiful and now she had a child but she was not happy. She should have been satisfied, filled, content and had a heart that was at rest but we find Rachel near the end of her story lying and cramming idols into her bag on the way out! Where she should have been happy she was discontent and grabbing idols to try and fill her discontent.  So, here's another poignant question for you. "Have you ever gotten that thing or person that you so longed for and it didn't make you as happy as you thought it would?" I think that is the exact point! The answer seems to be that it doesn't matter if you have it all and get everything your heart desires or if you're left wanting and unloved. Neither works! You see even though Leah and Rachel had very different circumstances they both were left wanting. Why? Because God was not their ultimate thing. The "ultimate things" for them were, children, their husband, their beauty or social status and in the end that just wasn't enough. A better way does exist! All of the "ultimate things" that these sisters had set in place were simply NOT the ultimate thing. If you are one of these that are desperate for love and affection but your searching has led you down unimaginable paths of devastation then maybe your "ultimate thing"is not the "ultimate thing". If you find yourself feeling miserable in your lack like Leah or miserable in your fullness like Rachel then the question comes again. God has created each of us uniquely and specifically. God knows the longings of our hearts and sees our pain. He hears our cries. Your life does not need to end up like either of these women! It says in John 10:10 that Jesus came so you no longer have to strain for what you believe are the "ultimate things". "He has come that you may have life and have it to the fullest". So, here's my final thought. In this New Year when many people are making their new resolutions for the coming year, I would suggest maybe instead of making resolutions that you probably won't keep. . . .try this. . . Be "resolute" about loving God and making him the "ultimate object of your affection"! You are more likely to find the ultimate thing that Rachel or Leah never found! And that just might look like a "happily ever after" for you!